Yoga Images

Rain Drop

Posted by randy 10 Mar, 2010

Bondseye posted a photo: Out take from a shoot for Bikram Durham.

Continued here:
Rain Drop

(0) Comment Categories : Bikram, Yoga Images

isisunvled posted a photo: Another long one- I guess I suddenly have a lot to say- but really it is for me that I write this and not with the expectation that anyone has the time or interest in reading it! In short- after 10 months with a broken clavicle that would not heal- despite several surgeries and pins and plates- I am finally able to raise my arms above my head— read on if you like- or keep it at that! *** two days ago I was able to take my shirt off- over my head- for the first time in nearly a year. Terminally broken clavicle and the pins and plates put in it to try and make it heal made it impossible- structurally and with respect to pain. it doesn’t feel particularly stable to raise my hands over my head—but it only twinges a bit with pain- so it is doable- and my doc told me to go ahead and try it out- so I give it a go a few times a day… the swimming- i believe- has been instrumental in this development. temps really dropped around here in recent days and yesterday the big pool was really cool- it was almost too cold given the outside air temperature. There is a smaller, shallow pool that is kept at a constant 106 degrees- so i mostly stayed in there- doing water yoga. I have not done plank position (a pose i have a special relationship with- i hate it and love it and am forever learning from it- to a place of almost obsession ) in a year either- but i can do it in the shallow end of a pool! Cobra too- and camel and full out bridge pose backbends. It’s a bit ironic- I definitely yoga’ed my way into these hip replacements. I grew up a ballet dancer- and my focus has always been on pushing my body- and my stretch which is quite free and open ( I have always been able to just drop into a split w/o any warm up)- to the next place— a place that often made my body scream in pain and anger. But that just made me push harder. In my yoga past, I pretty much scoffed at the restorative poses-rarely took them in my own practice- and when ‘forced’ to go into savasana in a guided class- I would immediately "recover" from it by doing a full out bridge pose. For 20 plus years I practiced yoga purely for physical gain–and with an unhealthy obsession for how far i could take my body. In the years leading up to my first hip replacement- I knew my hips were suffering. I was trying acupuncture, cranio-sacral- diet- massage- lots of therapies to help them last— but then at nite I was going to Bikram Yoga- for which I felt zero spiritual connection- but ohh what that heat allowed me to do!!!- and pulling my legs around my head. My hurting hips be damned. The nite my hips finally gave out- the moment that marked my inablilty to really walk for almost a year leading up to my surgery- i was doing these far out pigeon poses- front leg nearly straight out- weight into the outside edge of my front foot– torso flush against my leg- It’s a real pose-and an amazing advanced hip opener- sadi nardini teaches it- and I respect the hell out of her- but it was not a pose my hips should have been doing. I seriously thought that by pushing my hips harder- making them stretch and split- would make them better. Well, it worked when I was younger-when i had a strain or a pull that i wanted to blast thru- but it doesn;t work when there is no cartilage left in the joints! This is not to say I tripped thru 25 years of yoga and never got any spiritual benefit— of course I did- one cannot help but get that- even if one resists it… but for me- yoga- like much of what I have done in my life- was done with a competitive focus- competing against myself and anyone else who happened to be in the room. It’s all very Freudian- I had super low self esteem that I tried to balance out by "proving myself" time and time again— my dad often told me- in actions and words- that I was an asshole- a jerk- stupid- that belief system stuck around for a long time— was hard to shake. This past year- being physically compromised and in so much pain- was such a great gift. I feel fierce about my life now- and no one’s opinion or judgement or anything is going to stop me from being and doing and wanting what I want for my life. And I no longer feel like I have anything to prove to anyone except myself- to do what it takes- as I can- to realize my dreams. I also don’t feel angry at my dad anymore— he did the best he could- and yeah, he made some pretty big mistakes- but I was the one who continued to carry it with me past childhood and into my adult life… that was entirely my choice. Getting sick actually freed me. And- now- with my clavicle finally on the mend- and even with my remaining sore hip that needs to be replaced- I am able to do some yoga poses again. But it is with a new approach- a new mind set- and one hundred percent from a place of love and respect of self. I now spend at least an hour every day in restorative poses- child’s pose- savasana- they are my best friends- I can feel the negativity- the pain- the illness- draining from my body as I take these poses and just stay with them. And when I do hip openers- I protect my unoperated leg- keep it from going too far rather than pushing it past its limits like I used to do. And I respect my replaced hip- accept that it is going to take time to get that stretch back. I don’t for a minute imagine I won’t one day do full splits again- but it doesn’t have to be today– or tomorrow- or even next year. And it feels so good to be able to finally say that! We learn and Life goes on… i really wanted to have my hip replacement scar included in this shot- but none of them worked very well…and I got tired of running to pose while the camera ticked away its 10 second count down. I got to get myself a real camera… xo